Commitment Phobia in Relationships

When most people are beginning relationships, there hardly think of the many uncertainties that are ahead. They remain optimistic that things will work out well so that they can continue to be happy. However, there are those who find it difficult to be in a relationship because they do not know how to handle the situation.

The big challenge for such people is that they have a phobia of commitment. Lately, such cases have been on the rise, which is very worrying. Some research has claimed that there are more millennials with commitment phobia than any other generation before. So, what could be the problem? Let us explore some important things that everyone should know about commitment phobia in relationships.

What Is Commitment Phobia in Relationships?

This is a situation where a person develops anxiety that prevents her or him from staying in a relationship. Although the individual would otherwise want the relationship and desire it to last, she or he is overwhelmed by the feeling of anxiety. This leads to fear and dissatisfaction. Both partners feel the void, which is the main challenge.

Many people do not want to make a commitment after experiencing this feeling. But others make commitments only to change their minds weeks later. Both situations are bad enough for the relationship and should be avoided by all means. But before we look at the things that can prevent this, let us explore the signs that tell you that you have been affected.

Signs of Commitment Phobia

There are many signs that reveal a phobia to commitment in a relationship. Whether they are detected by the affected person or the partner, it is good to deal with them soon before they damage the relationship. However, some are severe and difficult to remedy.

Refusal to commit to your partner – simply, some people will disagree with every commitment plan that is presented to them. This is frustrating enough for the partner especially if the partner is impatient. Sometimes, the person affected may not realize that she or he is making the relationship difficult because the phobia could seem natural when under its influence.

Failure to honor dates and events – relationships are made stronger by dates and time together. The development and growth of a relationship can be even better when you find a boyfriend or girlfriend from a dating website because you have time to get to know each other. But if there are issues securing a date because the other person continues to cancel, then there is a problem.

They do not say, ”I love you” – well, any relationship is built on lots of this phrase. It assures the other person that everything is going well. Although there are actions that show love, every person should hear the phrase more often. If it is rarely there, then there could be a big problem.

Violent partner – there are numerous causes of violence in a relationship, and phobia of commitment is one of them. When your partner resorts to this habit, then there is something that your partner is hiding, and it is time to demand change.

Your partner has a ”don’t care” attitude – is your partner not showing care and concern in your relationship? This is a red flag that you should not ignore. Start investigating to understand where this is coming from. You will be surprised that your partner is scared of commitment to the relationship.

Possible Causes

Causes of commitment phobia can range from personal issues to external reasons. As discussed above, we have a hint of what could be causing this problem. But let us just go through the main causes.

Being scared that you are making the wrong decision will definitely lead to this phobia. Some people get into a relationship and then develop doubt almost immediately. However, this should not be the case because you should have assessed what you want before committing to the relationship.

Bad previous relationship experiences have been found to be a common cause of this situation. Actually, these people start doubting as soon as they commit to the relationship even though they want it badly. It could be a genuine fear, but the phobia will cause challenges immediately. It is said that a person can kill a relationship because she or he is anxious that the past will repeat itself.

Lack of enough income could be a big challenge as well. Some people believe that they must have money to take care of themselves and a partner if they are going to lead a happy relationship. When this is the cause, phobia of commitment in a relationship could even happen later in the relationship when one has lost a job or a business has collapsed.

Influence from friends can lead to commitment phobia. Have you ever been in a relationship that your friends are against? Well, it can happen, and this will cause fear and doubt for you. Once such a seed is planted in you, things will start to go south immediately.

Possible Solutions

Experts in relationships and life, in general, have proposed numerous solutions for the fighting phobia of commitment in relationships. First, the affected person must realize that she or he is in this situation before beginning to fight it. Additionally, they must accept the help offered by a partner, friends or experts.

It is worth noting that this situation can be reversed through encouragement especially when the cause is bad experiences in previous relationships. But if the cause is a lack of finances, this is even easier because there is always a way out with such problems. If you are making efforts to get income, then there is no reason to panic. Better still, things are easy when your partner is supportive.


By now, you have learned a lot about commitment phobia in relationships. The good news is that there are possible solutions. When applied carefully, the relationship will survive. This can feel miraculous to many people who felt trapped by their phobia.

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